Random Stuff

Chapter 4

　　After pouring the water, Meng Xiangbei half-supported Lin Zhibai to drink. The entire time Lin Zhibai kept looking at him carefully.

　　"Still want to drink?" Meng Xiangbei asked.

　　Lin Zhibai pursed his lips and shook his head.

　　After learning that Lin Zhibai had taken the medicine, Meng Xiangbei felt relieved. He still had a fever, but it would take time for the fever to go away.

　　Neither of them mentioned the topic of "forgiveness" again. No matter how nice the words are, they are not as effective as actual actions.

　　"Have a good rest, I'll go cook."

　　When Lin Zhibai, who was still dazed, learned that Meng Xiangbei was going to cook, he immediately shuddered and struggled to get out of bed, "I'll go."

　　Meng Xiangbei quickly pressed him onto the bed, wrapped him in a blanket, stared at him, and soothed him gently, "Xiaobai, be obedient. You are sick now, you need to have a good rest. It's just cooking, I'm not so useless that I can't even cook. By the way, don't go to work these few days, wait until you are well, okay."

　　Meng Xiangbei used a tone that was half negotiating and half coaxing, very gentle, but he made Lin Zhibai unable to utter a single "no".

　　Looking at Meng Xiangbei's back as he turned and walked out, Lin Zhibai was stunned, and his hands gripping the quilt were tightening.

　　Beneath was a wide earthen kang, with a thin sheet spread out as a cushion. wrapped in a thick quilt, which was a bit heavy, but it conveyed warmth bit by bit. That person's scent in every breath, and the uneasy heart settled for a moment, but after a few seconds, it became uneasy again.

　　Lin Zhibai was so sleepy that his head was fuzzy. Smelling that familiar scent, he actually fell asleep in that moment of peace.

　　Meng Xiangbei went to the kitchen and checked. There were only a few things that could be considered food, a thin layer of coarse grains at the bottom of the bag, half a bag of fine grains, and a few sweet potatoes. He held his forehead. The precious fine grains were specially given to Meng Xiangbei by Lin Zhibai, and the coarse grains and sweet potatoes were reserved for Lin Zhibai. Once Meng Xiangbei's fine grains were gone, Lin Zhibai would use his share of coarse grains to exchange for fine grains from others.

　　What a fucking bastard.

　　Meng Xiangbei cursed softly.

　　He scooped some fine grains into the casserole and cooked it, then processed the pheasant, tearing the tenderest part into small strips and putting it into the porridge, and also chopped a scallion and put it in.

　　Meng Xiangbei kept the remaining pheasants and pheasant eggs.

　　It takes a long time to cook porridge. While watching the fire, Meng Xiangbei ran to the big room from time to time to check on Lin Zhibai's condition.

　　The fever still hadn't completely subsided, but it could be felt that it was subsiding little by little. Meng Xiangbei breathed a sigh of relief.

　　While cooking porridge, Meng Xiangbei chopped the firewood at home. He took the firewood farther away for fear of disturbing Lin Zhibai's rest. After chopping the firewood, he cleaned everywhere except the big room. However, Lin Zhibai had already cleaned it very well before, so it was easy for him to clean now.

　　However, when Meng Xiangbei was cleaning the small room where Lin Zhibai lived and saw the newspaper that had fallen out from under the quilt, he was stunned.

　　The newspaper is old and yellowed, but it is neatly folded. It is obvious that the owner cherishes it very much.

　　When I opened it, I saw the date was October 1977, which was more than a year or almost two years ago, and the entire page of the newspaper was filled with news about the "resumption of the college entrance examination."

　　There were some circled or written traces on the newspaper, including notes for the exam, some knowledge points that might be tested, etc. It was written very carefully, with clean and beautiful handwriting, just like Lin Zhibai himself.

　　That year, when Meng Xiangbei learned that Lin Zhibai intended to take the college entrance examination, he threw all the books and exercise books in anger and forced Lin Zhibai to burn them himself.

　　Lin Zhibai never mentioned the college entrance examination again.

　　But Meng Xiangbei knew that it was not that he didn't mention it, nor that he didn't want to mention it, but that he couldn't mention it, and couldn't think about it.

　　He has completely fallen into the gentle trap woven by Meng Xiangbei. Faced with the choice between his dream and his lover, he can only give up his dream with great pain.

　　Meng Xiangbei remembers that when he first arrived in Daohua Village, the educated youth once talked about their dreams. The boy said that he wanted to be a teacher, educate people, and pass on knowledge from generation to generation.

　　At that time, Lin Zhibai had light in his eyes.

　　Lin Zhibai's life now revolves mechanically around Meng Xiangbei, with nothing else in it.

　　Meng Xiangbei sighed slightly, refolded the newspaper and put it back to its original place.

　　After the porridge was ready, Meng Xiangbei served it out and let it cool for a while before bringing it into the big room.

　　Lin Zhibai opened his eyes when he heard a familiar call. He took a deep breath and smelled the fragrance of porridge in the air.

　　Meng Xiangbei helped Lin Zhibai sit up, brought the porridge over, and said with a smile: "You are lucky this time. I shot a pheasant and found pheasant eggs this morning, and now I have made pheasant porridge. It should be delicious. You can try it."

　　The porridge is thick and fragrant, mixed with finely chopped chicken and sprinkled with green onions. Just looking at it whet one's appetite .

　　"Come, eat." Meng Xiangbei scooped a spoonful of porridge, blew on it, and handed it to Lin Zhibai's mouth.

　　Lin Zhibai was stunned. After two seconds, he shook his head and refused, "You eat it. I don't need it. I can just roast a sweet potato." He could see that the porridge was made with fine grains and there was chicken in it. How could he eat it?

　　Meng Xiangbei knew he would have this reaction.

　　"Xiaobai, listen, this is what I cooked especially for you, just eat it, or are you complaining about it?"

　　Lin Zhibai widened his almond-shaped eyes slightly. How could he possibly dislike it?

　　"Since there is nothing, then eat it. Don't worry, I cooked a lot. I won't be hungry. You eat it, otherwise I will be angry." Meng Xiangbei said in a rather fierce tone, "If you don't eat it, I won't eat it either. I can only pour it out."

　　Hearing that such precious chicken porridge was going to be poured away, Lin Zhibai could not remain indifferent, and finally agreed. Because of his meal, Meng Xiangbei always said what he would do, especially when he was angry.

　　Lin Zhibai couldn't remember how long it had been since he had eaten fine grains or meat.

　　Lin Zhibai was fed spoonful by spoonful by Meng Xiangbei, and the warmth spread from his throat to his stomach and then to his whole body.

　　The porridge was indeed delicious, and it was the most delicious porridge Lin Zhibai had eaten in the past two years. It was not because it was made with fine grains, nor because it contained chicken, but because this porridge was cooked for him by the person who was closest to his heart.

　　After eating the porridge and sitting for a while, Meng Xiangbei asked Lin Zhibai to lie down and have a rest.

　　In the afternoon, because he was concerned about Lin Zhibai's health, Meng Xiangbei did not go to the mountains, but stayed at home thinking about ways to make money.

　　Meng Xiangbei didn't plan to go to work as planned, he was not a person who would settle down. But Lin Zhibai was too weak, he needed to be taken care of, at least to have enough food and clothes, which not only required food but also money. Moreover, he also planned to let Lin Zhibai take the college entrance examination next year, which would cost money to buy books and exercise books, as well as registration fees.

Chapter 3

　　After leaving Zhang Youyu, Meng Xiangbei went into the mountains and shot a pheasant and also found two pheasant eggs.

　　Meng Xiangbei is the only nightmare beast in the world. He has devoured the owners of dreams from different eras and with different identities. While devouring them, he also got to know them and naturally learned a lot of skills from them.

　　Following his memory, Meng Xiangbei took a secluded path back. In those days, although some people often went up the mountain secretly to hunt, pick mushrooms and other things, this mountain was public property after all, and it was not good to do so so blatantly in front of others.

　　Families who hunted the game would bring it back secretly. Fortunately, there's no people along the way.

　　Meng Xiangbei's shabby little house has a low courtyard made of earth outside and a wooden door. There are two rooms inside and a kitchen. Next to the kitchen is a simple toilet built with stones when Meng Xiangbei's parents were still alive.

　　The kitchen is connected to the toilet, which is a very disgusting layout, but Lin Zhibai loves cleanliness, and he keeps everything in the small shabby house spotlessly clean, without any odor at all.

　　There are two rooms, one big and one small. The smaller one was originally used to store things. Three years ago, Lin Zhibai moved into Meng Xiangbei's house.

　　Meng Xiangbei, who was pursuing Lin Zhibai, took the initiative to give him the big room and moved into the small room himself.

　　Later, the two confirmed their relationship, and Meng Xiangbei moved back to the big room. The two slept in the same bed so that they could "do things" at night.

　　Recently, Meng Xiangbei found an excuse for Lin Zhibai to move to a small room. Only when he needed him at night would he go to the small room to torment Lin Zhibai, and then go back to the big room to sleep.

　　After hearing what Meng Xiangbei said, Lin Zhibai was reluctant to sleep in a separate room from him, but he didn't dare to say much. However, Meng Xiangbei was afraid that Zhang Youyu would find out about his relationship with Lin Zhibai, so he chose to sleep in a separate room.

　　Meng Xiangbei put the pheasant down and returned to the small room, where he saw Lin Zhibai lying on the bed with an abnormally flushed face due to a fever.

　　The room was very small, with almost no extra space except for a brick bed about one meter wide.

　　The young boy's thin body curled up under a thin quilt, his delicate brows slightly furrowed, and he seemed not to be sleeping well. He was probably cold, and his body was shivering slightly.

　　Meng Xiangbei was stunned for a moment. For a moment he couldn't connect the young man in front of him with the young man that first came here three years ago.

　　Although Lin Zhibai at that time was also slim, not in good health, and had some flesh on his face, he was definitely not as thin as he is now, as if only a skeleton was left. Blue veins could be seen under his skin. He was weak and had little resistance. It seemed that if he got sick, people would have the illusion that he would not be able to survive at any time.

　　Meng Xiangbei's fingertips trembled, and he reached out and touched his forehead.

　　He had a fever and was still feeling a little hot. After thinking for a moment, he bent down and was about to pick up the boy.

　　However, for some reason, the boy's sleep was very light, and even though the fever made people drowsy, he still woke up.

　　Lin Zhibai opened his eyes wide and was startled when he saw the familiar face. He quickly struggled to get out of bed and said, "You're back. I'm sorry, I haven't cooked yet. I'll do it now."

　　Since his true nature was exposed, Meng Xiangbei returned to his lazy and gluttonous ways. Lin Zhibai works during the day, so even if he is tired, he still has to come back to cook three meals a day.

　　I remember one time, Lin Zhibai was late for cooking because of something, Meng Xiangbei treated him coldly, didn't talk to him for several days, and looked at him coldly. Lin Zhibai, who always relied on Meng Xiangbei, panicked and felt uneasy. He apologized for a long time and was severely tossed by Meng Xiangbei several times before the matter was over.

　　Lin Zhibai is not afraid of anything else but Meng Xiangbei's cold violence, which will make him feel that Meng Xiangbei doesn't want him anymore.

　　Seeing that Lin Zhibai was about to get out of bed, Meng Xiangbei stretched out his long arms and directly held him in his arms, holding him horizontally, "Don't move."

　　At this time, Meng Xiangbei's face was serious, his voice was low, and his tone did not allow for any discussion.

　　Lin Zhibai really didn't move. His whole body was stiff. He curled up in the arms of the tall Meng Xiangbei. He lowered his head and said, "I'm sorry."

　　Meng Xiangbei didn't say anything, he carried him out of the small room. The person in his arms was very light, and it didn't take much effort to carry him. There was wind blowing in his face, and Meng Xiangbei held the boy tighter in his arms.

　　Lin Zhibai passively buried his head in the man's arms, breathing in the familiar and strong scent that belonged to Meng Xiangbei, which surrounded him whole body, and in his ears was the man's steady and powerful heartbeat.

　　It has been a long time since I had such contact with him.

　　At night they would still do the most intimate things in the world, but Lin Zhibai felt that at that time, their hearts were very far apart.

　　Lin Zhibai stretched out his hand as if possessed by a ghost and grasped the man's collar. He wanted to grasp the warmth of the moment, because he knew that it would probably disappear in the next moment.

　　After a few steps, Meng Xiangbei carried Lin Zhibai to the big room.

　　The 1.8-meter-high earthen kang is three times larger than the small room. Although it is shabby, it is spacious and bright.

　　Lin Zhibai was placed on the bed. He looked at his empty hands, his eyes dimming under his long eyelashes.

　　Meng Xiangbei carefully let Lin Zhibai lie on the bed, spread out his thick quilt and covered him with it.

　　Facing Lin Zhibai's bewildered look, he spoke in a gentle tone, "Did you get sick this morning? Did you take medicine? Your fever hasn't subsided yet. Are you still feeling uncomfortable? If you feel uncomfortable, remember to tell me, okay?"

　　Lin Zhibai's round almond-shaped eyes widened slightly as he stared at Meng Xiangbei, as if he didn't quite believe that he would say such caring words.

　　How long have I not heard of it?

　　After a moment of silence, he moved his dry lips and asked carefully: "You are not angry?"

　　Meng Xiangbei stared at him, his fingertips tracing the boy's handsome eyebrows and eyes, "How could I be angry? You are sick, and I feel sorry for you. Now, you just need to recover from your illness and don't worry about anything else."

　　Lin Zhibai pursed his lips tightly, didn't say anything, just looked at him.

　　Meng Xiangbei's heart trembled slightly, and he moved closer to him, lowered his head, buried it in the boy's neck, and said in a hoarse voice, "Xiaobai, I'm sorry, I treated you badly before because of my own reasons, but I won't do that again in the future. I will change and treat you well. Can you forgive me and give me another chance to love you well?"

　　Meng Xiangbei raised his head, revealing a pair of red eyes, which Lin Zhibai had never seen before. Suddenly, Lin Zhibai's heart was in turmoil and his breathing became slightly rapid.

　　"Don't you want to forgive me? It's okay. I'm such a bad person, it's reasonable for you not to forgive me." Seeing that Lin Zhibai remained silent, Meng Xiangbei's eyes dimmed a little, and there was a hint of bitterness at the corners of his lips.

　　He stood up and walked out. Lin Zhibai thought he was going to leave, and panicked. He quickly reached out and grabbed the corner of his clothes, and his tone was inadvertently pleading, "Don't go."

　　Meng Xiangbei was stunned for a moment, then leaned over and gently kissed him on the forehead, "I'm not leaving, I just want to pour you some water." His lips were almost cracked.

　　Lin Zhibai let go of his hand only after making sure that Meng Xiangbei would not leave.

　　Meng Xiangbei's house had an old kettle. Holding the enamel cup, he poured half a cup. Even with his back to it, he could still feel Lin Zhibai's eyes on him.

Chapter 2

　　Lin Zhibai's parents divorced when he was a child and had little affection for him. He lived with his grandparents and they had an average relationship. Since childhood, Lin Zhibai was a child lacking love.

　　In his second year of high school, seventeen-year-old Lin Zhibai was forced to go to the countryside in place of his cousin. He had been weak since childhood and had to travel a long distance, so he fell ill with a high fever on the first day after arriving in Daohua Village. The only doctor in the village was away because he was visiting relatives, and it would take several hours to go to the town. Lin Zhibai's condition could not be delayed, and he might become a fool before he even reached the town.

　　Just then, Meng Xiangbei appeared, gave him some antipyretic pills, and saved Lin Zhibai's life.

　　While Lin Zhibai was in a daze from the fever, he memorized the name Meng Xiangbei in his mind.

　　Afterwards, the team leader assigned living areas to the educated youth, and Lin Zhibai happened to be assigned to Meng Xiangbei.

　　The villagers, who had long known that Meng Xiangbei was a bad-tempered second-rate person, advised Lin Zhibai to move to another family, but Lin Zhibai refused.

　　He thought that since someone could give such precious antipyretic medicine to a stranger like him under such circumstances, he must not be as bad as what others said.

　　In fact, the antipyretic drug was brought back by Meng Xiangbei when he went to a house in the town to steal. At that time, Western medicine was still a rare commodity and very valuable. He originally planned to sell it, but was afraid of being caught. So when he heard that an educated youth had a fever and the team leader was willing to exchange ten kilograms of grain for the antipyretic drug, he immediately gave it to the educated youth.

　　So, Lin Zhibai settled down with Meng Xiangbei, and the nightmare of his short life began.

　　Meng Xiangbei was 23 years old at that time. His grandparents and parents had all passed away. Fortunately, he was left with a lot of bills and money, but the house was too dilapidated.

　　Meng Xiangbei is good-looking and tall, at least 1.86 meters tall. Because he's lazy and doesn't work, his skin is whiter than that of a girl. He is also handsome, with thin lips, a high nose, and especially his eyes, which are deep and beautiful. He is used to disguising himself with a gentle temperament. When he smiles, he looked very gentle, which makes people feel very comfortable.

　　However, Meng Xiangbei's inner heart is completely different from his appearance.

　　To describe it in one word, it's "all show and no substance".

　　Logically speaking, Meng Xiangbei is good-looking and his family has "inheritance", so he should be able to marry a good wife, but he has not married for so many years.

　　Others don’t know the reason, only Meng Xiangbei himself knows the reason, it's because he doesn’t like women, only men.

　　After Lin Zhibai moved into his shabby house, Meng Xiangbei fell in love with Lin Zhibai. In addition, he knew that Lin Zhibai's grandparents would send him things every once in a while. In order to get Lin Zhibai and live off him, he began to plan to conquer the latter.

　　Seventeen-year-old Lin Zhibai had red lips, white teeth, and a fair complexion, especially his soft and slender waist, which was so thin that it seemed like it would break if pinched. Every time Meng Xiangbei saw him, his blood boiled.

　　In order to make Lin Zhibai willing to be with him, Meng Xiangbei, who has always been lazy, helped the thin Lin Zhibai with work, cooked for him, washed clothes for him, and took care of him when he was sick.

　　Coupled with Meng Xiangbei's handsome face and daily sweet words, Lin Zhibai, who already had a good impression of him because of saving his life, walked step by step into the gentle trap woven by Meng Xiangbei.

　　Lin Zhibai was willing to give his feelings and body to Meng Xiangbei. This subtly influenced Lin Zhibai, who had always been soft-hearted and lacked love, into developing the habit of regarding Meng Xiangbei as his heaven and relying on him.

　　It was also at that time that Meng Xiangbei's true nature was revealed. He was lazy and even used cold violence against Lin Zhibai. However, when he needed something, he would say sweet words to coax him and tricked him into bed.

　　In 1977, the college entrance examination was resumed. Lin Zhibai, who had always dreamed of becoming a teacher, was preparing to sign up for the college entrance examination. Meng Xiangbei was afraid that Lin Zhibai would pass the college entrance examination, go to the city and never come back.

So, when he ran into Lin Zhibai reading one day, he snatched Lin Zhibai's books and burned them.　　He also questioned Lin Zhibai whether he didn't love him. If he really loved him, he should stay in the village with him.

　　Faced with the choice between his dream and his lover, Lin Zhibai, who regarded Meng Xiangbei as the most important person in his life, watched his precious books being burned. That day, what was burned was not only the books, but also his dreams.

　　After learning that Lin Zhibai gave up the college entrance examination and would not return to the city, his grandparents also cut off contact with him.

　　After making sure that Lin Zhibai would not leave, Meng Xiangbei went even further and made Lin Zhibai willingly do heavy work and earn work points to feed two people. Meng Xiangbei, who had a strong desire, ignored Lin Zhibai's fatigue during the day and his weak body. He would basically take Lin Zhibai to bed every night and toss him around. He even treated Lin Zhibai as his property. After learning that Lin Zhibai was getting close to a male educated youth, he became furious and made Lin Zhibai swear that he would never have any contact with other men in the future.

　　This kind of lifestyle is undoubtedly pathological, but Lin Zhibai, who lacks love, has been silently enduring it in order not to lose Meng Xiangbei, and sometimes even thinks that this is a manifestation of Meng Xiangbei's care for him.

　　Until, news came from the village that the village chief's youngest daughter, who was rescued by Meng Xiangbei, fell in love with Meng Xiangbei and planned to marry him.

　　Meng Xiangbei saved Zhang Youyu by chance. He doesn't like women, so naturally he doesn't like Zhang Youyu either.

　　But the village chief's family is rich. Meng Xiangbei, who has spent all his "inheritance" in the past few years, has been relying on Lin Zhibai to work for food, but he's not satisfied.

　　He wanted Zhang Youyu's family's money and wanted to live a good life, but he couldn't bear to give up Lin Zhibai's body.

　　So, while he was flirting with Zhang Youyu and wanted to marry her, he was also persuading Lin Zhibai to continue their secret affair with him.

　　Thinking that Lin Zhibai would agree, but the person who had been listening to him for the past few years firmly denied it this time.

　　Lin Zhibai can't live without Meng Xiangbei, and doesn't want the latter to be with someone else. He doesn't expect them to be together openly, he just hopes that Meng Xiangbei can be loyal to him.

　　Between money, a good life, and Lin Zhibai, whom he had played with for several years, Meng Xiangbei resolutely chose the former. Fearing that Lin Zhibai would pester him, he directly reported Comrade Lin Zhibai.

　　In this era, homosexuals will be despised and disdained by others.

　　Lin Zhibai, who was not good at speaking, was speechless when faced with the malicious gazes and condemnations. He listened to others calling him disgusting and shameless, and even had things thrown at him when he went out.

　　But the person he loved was with another woman and didn't even look at him.

　　Abandoned by his lover, with no dreams, no family, no friends, Lin Zhibai collapsed in the face of malice from the whole world.

　　In that winter, he jumped into the river and committed suicide. Lin Zhibai was less than 21 years old that year. He was a young man in the prime of his life, but he withered like a flower at the best stage of his life.

　　Lin Zhibai's death did not have any impact on Meng Xiangbei. In the end, he not only became rich and powerful, but even when he was old, he still had affairs with several young boys.

　　After his death, Lin Zhibai came to the underworld. He did not take the bowl of Meng Po soup that would allow him to enter reincarnation. Instead, he was willing to sacrifice his soul and begged the Nightmare Beast to weave a dream for him so that he could feel truly loved.

　　Thus, the nightmare beast Meng Xiangbei came forth.